“Our own life is the instrument with which we experiment with the truth” – Thich Nhat Hanh
What is the truth? It is most often misinterpreted. My truth may not be your truth and vice versa. It is often based on circumstances and experiences from our childhood and reinforced by our parents’ truths, beliefs and values.
The sad truth is that people find it very difficult to go through life filtering it through a personal adult point of view even after they have become grownups themselves. As a school psychologist I get many opportunities to witness the many truths of human behaviour. Applying Transactional Analysis, it is so easy to make a child sitting in front of me identify his parent beliefs, child likes and dislikes. Then very easily he visualizes his adult values and comes out with beautiful solutions for his problems.
I once had the opportunity to counsel a staff member who was grappling with a problem. He found it quite difficult to come up with a solution that was based on his adult experiences. His truths were so strongly tainted that the solutions he produced were those of his parents or his beliefs as a child. When I pressed him on urging him to continue, it made him stop and give up eventually. Years of conditioning contaminates our thought process sending us on a roller coaster ride through life’s ups and downs. The only thing standing between you and your goal is the wrong story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it. When you walk life’s journey, there will be a million people telling you that you won’t accomplish one thing or the other. Perhaps the biggest and strongest critics will be your own people. Let nothing deter you from achieving your goal. Evaluate their truth against yours and see where they might have become contaminated giving rise to these multiple versions of truths along with the associated myths dominating your life. Know the truth and it will liberate you becoming the transformative key to your life’s success and happiness.
‘Paint the sky, and make it yours’
The reader may be a bit confused of the Parent, Adult and Child references above. In Transactional Analysis these are referred to the three ego states in human beings which consists of behaviors, thoughts and feelings. When you behave, think and feel in ways:
1) You copied from parents or parent figures you are said to be in your Parent ego state.
2) Which are a direct ‘here and now’ response to events around you using all abilities as a grown up, you are in your Adult ego state.
3) You did when you were a child, you are said to be in your Child ego state.
